Sonhar

De sonhar

ninguém cansa...

...porque sonhar é esquecer,

e esquecer não pesa

e é um sono sem sonhos

em que estamos despertos.

Fernando Pessoa

Um lindo poema... para desanuviar a alma.

(foto da artista)

O círculo

A verdade é muitas vezes contornada como se de uma mina terrestre se tratasse. 

Anda-se num círculo vicioso, com o dedos sempre pressionando o gatilho dos rodeios, prontos a disparar sempre que seja necessário dar mais outra volta. 

Além destes, bastante utilizados para confundir o objecto, existem ainda outras duas armas fundamentais:

- o silêncio

- a mentira

O primeiro é muitas vezes recorrido por aqueles que não conseguem enfrentar as consequências da verdade. Nesses casos, costuma-se dizer que o sujeito não quer ferir "susceptibilidades". Assim, sentado no pedestal da bondade, o sujeito prefere manter o silêncio e deixar que o tempo dite a sentença.

A segunda mais não é do que o acto de encobrir a verdade recorrendo a argumentos falaciosos. Pergunto-me...será a mentira mais bondosa que a verdade? Fere-se mais a pessoa em causa contando a verdade do que mentindo? 

Perguntas ingénuas, eu sei, mas é engraçado ver como as pessoas arranjam 1001 subterfúgios para evitar a verdade enquanto que a mentira, essa, é sempre inevitável.

Metáforas (num mau dia)

Algumas pessoas ladram em vez de falar.

Ouve-se barulho, muito barulho, mas de tudo aquilo nada se retém.

Parecem galos a quererem afirmar-se perante a capoeira, pena haver sempre uma raposa por perto a não alinhar no jogo...

Para quando a luta de galos?

Está para vir...

Enquanto isso, vai-se ouvindo ladrar.

(com a raposa sempre por perto... a observar)

"Galo! Galo de uma maneira tal, que agora no quinteiro, mal franzia a testa, tremia tudo! E então lindo! A crista caía-lhe dobrada sobre o ouvido. Um rico brinco de cada lado. E em todo o peito, sobre o papo redondo, um avental de penas que pareciam de pavão! "

"Bichos" (1940)

Miguel Torga

Medo... muito medo.

O mundo parece fascinado por esta criatura, Sarah Palin de seu nome.

Eu pergunto-me: porquê?

-Será do penteado à executiva ou dos óculos que conferem um certo tom intelectual (o que para o mais comum dos americanos significa saber apontar o Iraque no mapa...)?
-Será pelo facto da sua experiência se limitar ao cargo governadora desse grande e complexo Estado americano que é o Alaska?
-Será por ter uma filha adolescente com 17 anos, grávida (entre vírgulas porque não tem problema absolutamente nenhum), que romanticamente, vai casar com o seu príncipe encantado e ser feliz para sempre?

Hummm... realmente não percebo. É que além de todas estas virtudes, a criatura reúne ainda todas aquelas qualidades magnânimes dos republicanos:

• é pró-vida

• está a favor da posse legal de armas (mesmo que todos os dias nos EUA morram crianças por acidentalmente brincarem com as pistolas, imponentes e atribuidoras de virilidade, dos seus pais)
  

• é pró-vida

• é a favor da pena de morte

• é pró-vida

• é a favor da guerra (quantas mais melhor.. mesmo que na Guerra do Iraque,esse monumento ao patriotismo americano, já tenham morrido mais americanos que no atentado do 9/11)
  

• é pró-vida

• é a favor do lucrativo sistema de saúde americano (responsável por milhares de mortes todos os anos, na maior parte doentes cuja intervenção cirúrgica que lhes salvaria a vidafoi-lhes negada pelas seguradoras de forma a obterem o tão amado lucro)
  

• é pró-vida

O que me assusta nisto tudo, mesmo sabendo que nada disto é novidade para ninguém, é que as pessoas tendem a colocar o mediatismo das personagens acima daquilo que estas defendem. O facto desta senhora, caso McCain seja eleito (que o Diabo seja cego, surdo e mudo), ter muitas hipóteses de o vir a suceder (devido à sua jovialidade) como Presidente dos Estados Unidos é meramente secundário...

"What if her own daughter was raped and became pregnant? Palin was asked that in a Nov. 2, 2006, debate that aired statewide on public television.
«I would chose life» Palin answered."

http://www.adn.com/sarah-palin/story/518512.html

"If the legislature passed a death penalty law, I would sign it. We have a right to know that someone who rapes and murders a child or kills an innocent person in a drive by shooting will never be able to do that again. "

www.palinforgovernor.com, "Issues" Nov 7, 2006


Aii... as contradições da vida...(ou serão da morte?)

"Estou maravilhado!"

"Gostaram do espéctaculo?"
"Foi absolutamente magnífico!"
"Perfeito!"

Perante estas exclamações eufóricas e dotadas de uma total insenção de uso da razão, fiquei perplexa. A primeira coisa que me veio à cabeça foram aqueles videos antigos, que mostravam na escola, das massas embevecidas pelas paradas militares nazis em Berlim, com as bandeirinhas com a suástica cintilante, sempre presente. Sim, eram imponentes, hipnotizantes tendo como objectivo esse mesmo embevecimento, por forma a apagar das pessoas o verdadeiro significado de tudo aquilo, o que estava por trás de toda esta propaganda de facto, deslumbrante.
Ora, tendo acabado de visionar a abertura dos Jogos Olímpicos de Pequim, com algum desdém perante a (muita) hipocrisia que ali se manifestava (*cough* Comité Olímpico *cough*) e tentando não cair na teia do espectáculo de cores e movimentos que prentendia fazer esquecer toda a (merecida) polémica que envolveu a China pré-JO, qual foi o meu espanto ao perceber que as pessoas à minha volta tinham de facto caido na armadilha, encontrando-se estupefactas e muito, mas muito, maravilhadas."Duvido que a Inglaterra supere tal feito!" engoli eu ainda num estado de semi-espanto. De repente, o xadrez internacional tinha-se resumido a um mero campeonato de espectáculos de fogo de artifício, colocando em pano secundário o facto de a China ser uma ditadura há 40 anos e a Inglaterra das mais antigas democracia no mundo. "O que é que isso interessa?" provavelmente pensariam os embevecidos... "O que interessa é que o chinês voou ao acender a tocha olímpica!" Realmente, quem é que quer saber das democracias e das ditaduras? Sinceramente...

"Enquanto não tomarem consciência não se revoltarão,
e enquanto não se revoltarem não poderão tomar consciência."

1984, George Orwell

Old text

Well... I'm back!
During the holidays, I came across this text I wrote 3 years ago.
Guess the years do not affect my mind at any measure...

"Clara está sentada no seu quarto. Sente-se terrivelmente só...e triste. A sua cabeça parece que vai explodir a qualquer momento com tantos perguntas (retóricas) a bombardear a sua mente «Não tenho sorte nenhuma!»; «Quanto tempo mais terei de esperar até isto acabar?»; «Quando é que alguém irá finalmente compreender-me e valorizar-me?».
Clara tem apenas 16 anos, mas vê o mundo à sua volta como o mais vivido dos adultos. É realista e muito, muito crítica. Clara queria apenas ser uma adolescente normal: divertir-se com os amigos, dizer parvoíces (para os outros se rirem), viver sem pensar na realidade e nas consequências, enfim, viver a vida. Porém, Clara destaca-se dos demais adolescentes pela sua inteligência, racionalidade, perspicácia, sentido de oportunidade, ironia e, acima de tudo, pelos seus valores e convicções, que não abandona por nada deste mundo. A sua racionalidade fá-la afastar-se dos demais, fá-la passar por anti-social (seja lá o que isso for), e mesmo antipática... No entanto, ela apenas é fiel à sua personalidade (sim... ela tem uma personalidade própria), ao contrário dos demais que, pela sua falsidade, têm um ar de felicidade radiante, um ar despreocupado. como se nada transportassem sobre os seus ombros. São esses os mais populares, os favoritos dos professores, e dos colegas. Afinal de contas, não são incovenientes, estando sempre no sitío certo à hora certa prontos a "ajudar" com o sorriso, qual máquina automática, obviamente ligado.
Para Clara, tudo isto é claro como a água... «Pena as pessoas terem os olhos vendados e os ouvidos fechados para tudo o que não lhes traz benefício próprio» pensa Clara, só."

Holidays

Blog fechado para férias.

Volto em breve e, espero eu, com um pouco mais de inspiração :)

ps.: sim... a imagem é apenas para dar um ar de que vou para um destino paradisíaco descansar o corpo e a mente... (not gonna happen...).

Leave me alone

Oh when did you decide

To start living like it's suicide

And wasting all my time

And messing up my mind

Oh now darling please leave me alone

I'm so tired I wanna be on my own

But you come on calling on my telephone

And I wish I could show you somewhere better

Better to go

Leave me alone

Razorlight

Hard work=Success?

I work hard.
I am tired.
Yet I see no results nor rewards.

However, I keep working and putting myself to the limit.

Why all these efforts?
Why all this shitty attitude? What am I trying to prove to myself and the others?
Why keeping with all the struggle if no one around me gives a shit, ?
Why don't I just give up and admit I'm a human too?

Because, in the end of the day, all I want is to say one day, that I've given my best in everything I ever took part.

Sick of this life
Not that you'd care
I'm not the only one with
whom these feelings I share

Nobody understands, quite why we're here
We're searchin' for answers
That never appear

But maybe if I looked real hard I'd
I'd see your tryin' too
To understand this life,
That we're all goin' through

Dead Horse
Guns N' Roses

Woman of the Month

From now on, every month, I shall be posting information about women that inspire me. I hope they will inspire you a bit too.

Queen Elizabeth I (Elizabeth Tudor)

Elizabeth Tudor is considered by many to be the greatest monarch in English history. When she became queen in 1558, she was twenty-five years old, a survivor of scandal and danger, and considered illegitimate by most Europeans. She inherited a bankrupt nation, torn by religious discord, a weakened pawn between the great powers of France and Spain. She was only the third queen to rule England in her own right; the other two examples, her cousin Lady Jane Grey and half-sister Mary I, were disastrous. Even her supporters believed her position dangerous and uncertain. Her only hope, they counseled, was to marry quickly and lean upon her husband for support. But Elizabeth had other ideas.
She ruled alone for nearly half a century, lending her name to a glorious epoch in world history. She dazzled even her greatest enemies. Her sense of duty was admirable, though it came at great personal cost. She was committed above all else to preserving English peace and stability; her genuine love for her subjects was legendary. Only a few years after her death in 1603, they lamented her passing. In her greatest speech to Parliament, she told them, 'I count the glory of my crown that I have reigned with your love.' And five centuries later, the worldwide love affair with Elizabeth Tudor continues.

from: http://englishhistory.net/tudor/monarchs/eliz1.html (length biography)

Famous Quotes

A clear and innocent conscience fears nothing.
To the Spanish Ambassador.

Those who appear the most sanctified are the worst.
To the Spanish Ambassador, on arrested Catholics.


I do not want a husband who honours me as a queen,
if he does not love me as a woman.
To the French Ambassador.


Do not tell secrets to those whose faith and
silence you have not already tested.
To Erik, King of Sweden, in 1561.


I would rather be a beggar and single
than a queen and married.
To the Ambassador of the Duke of Wurtemberg, 1564.

from: http://www.luminarium.org/renlit/elizaquotes.htm

Why do all the people look the same?

I look around, I see a click of young girls, I try to see their differences and I see none. They have the same haircut, they wear the same type of jeans and even the same sneakers. They laugh the same way, they walk the same way, they talk the same way. They look like prototypes fresh from the factory. Produced exactly with the same characteristics. Just like mass production. I see them like Ford-Ts coming from the Henry Ford's car industry in the 20s. The main difference is that, at the time, those cars were something innovative and cheap. These girls aren't innovative.

This, obviously, happens to the guys as well. That doesn't suprise anyone...

I think to myself, how must it feel to look at your friends and see an imagine of yourself? I wonder, would they ever dare to act and look accordingly to what they liked? Do they know what they like?

Sad.... really sad.

p.s.: see? inspiration came fast! :D (regarding the previous post)

Nonsense

It's been a long time (well... not that long) since I last posted here... Mainly it's because much remains the same... so I dont want to bore you with my repetitive rambling. I think it's quite clear now about how I feel towards people!
Anyway (and yeah, I have nothing useful to say today... so for that im sorry), it's been 4 months since I first started this blog, which has grown into an online diary of mine, where I can share my hopes and feelings with whoever reads this. It sure has been helpful, afterall even your friends don't have unlimited patience to hear your ramblings...
Oh well, I may shut up now. Thanks for reading the lamest post ever in a blog (the next will be better.... or not!)

Rambling

Advise of the day: Do never trust anyone.

People will always get advantage of you in the end. Believe me, if they were honest about what they wanted from you, this would never happen.

Then, there are those people who like to be fooled and keep trusting again and again. But it´s quite comprehensible... we all like to have that illusion that the world ain´t that bad... and that there even are some good people around! haha I once was like that... then, one day, I woke up and realized how the world worked and let me tell you, I immediately got very pragmatic. It´s kinda sad... I know... but at least I´m seeing the world as it is, I don´t have my eyes shut anymore as many people do. I don´t get desillusioned anymore. I simply now think to myself "Oh... that was coming ahead! I knew it!"
If I wanted things to be different? Oh yeah! And that´s why I never get confortable with the reality... that´s why I never act like the others do. I don´t pretend. That´s it. I´m myself. The others... well they´re playing roles that suits their goals... they´re happy like that... and they have to! Afterall... it´s those people who get well on life! Not the fools who keep pointing out the truth looking pathetic before the reproving looks of the people that call you "stubborn", "inconvenient" and so on. I tell you... everyday is a struggle for me. Everyday I get more upset, Sometimes I ask myself if all this worries are worthy... I don´t have to think much about it. My heart knows they absolutely are.

"But don't damn me
When I speak a piece of mind
'Cause silence isn't golden
When I'm holding it inside
'Cause I've been where I have been
An I've seen what I have seen
I put the pen to the paper
'Cause it's all a part of me"

Don't Damn Me
Guns N' Roses

Whatever

I hate people and people hate me.
Hey! At least THAT is reciprocal! :D

...

Untitled (2)

"Someday, everything will all make perfect sense.
So for now laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears,
and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason"

Unknown author

Taurus

I have never been someone to pay attention to astrology, horoscopes or whatsoever... neverthless, the following is a very precise description of my being, which quite surprised me:

• "Tactile and sensuous, you have a nose for personal comfort and physical pleasure.
  

• You are nevertheless quite pragmatic, with a good appreciation for the financial values as well as any aesthetic qualities.

• Taureans are very strong-willed and often quite creative.

• You are kind and generous with friends, with whom you develop an unspoken rapport.

• Taureans are good singers and musicians, or at least, love music.

• You tend to be rather subdued, but you have a fine sense of humour, and enjoy your social life.

• Down to earth, a no-nonsense approach, saying what they mean with a very strong sense of values.

• Their mind is closed to new ideas and a certain unwillingness to change, determined and do not buckle under pressure and adversity.

• They are also extremely patient, and dependable along the way.

• Patient, loyal, caring, shy and reserved, taureans are slow to anger but once annoyed, they will rage and turn ferocious and unstoppable.

• They are stubborn, carrying this trait to all spheres in life, thereby, in a way, closing the options for a better life.

• Taureans love to reap the rewards.

• They simply want to get things done, and it is that steady, dogged persistence which begets the nickname 'stubborn'.

• Their strength is in their stability, loyalty and dogged determination. They want to get the job done, and they will."

so true...

Heart of Gold

"I want to live,
I want to give
Ive been a miner for a heart of gold.
Its these expressions I never give
That keep me searching for a heart of gold
And Im getting old.
Keeps me searching for a heart of gold
And Im getting old."

Heart of Gold
Neil Young

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Now playing: Pearl Jam - MFC
via FoxyTunes

A song (I wish was written for me)

"I see you standing

Standing on your own
It's such a lonely place for you
For you to be
If you need a shoulder
Or if you need a friend
I'll bee here standing
Until the bitter end

No one needs the sorrow
No one needs the pain
I hate to see you
Walking out there
Out in the rain
So don't chastise me
Or think I, I mean you harm
Of those that take you
Leave you strung out
Much too far
Baby-yeah

Don't ever leave me
Say you'll always be there
All I ever wanted
Was for you
To know that I care"

Rocket Queen
Guns N' Roses

19 years old

Today I turn 19 years old.
The last year of teenager they say... Maybe that can turn out to be a relief! Who knows...
I can only wish for more peace of mind and perhaps even happiness in my life... although that´s something you have to work throughout all your life.
I also wish I could be more calm and less worried about things from now on... maybe even being more impulsive and less rational (if that´s possible).
Anything apart from that, I don´t want to change. I love myself, and besides not getting any kind of recognition, I´ll stick to my beliefs until someone can finally understand me.
Well... let´s just wait and see what my 19 years old are to bring...

imagem: http://grammiepammie.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/birthday-cake-3.jpg
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Now playing: Maximo Park - Karaoke Plays
via FoxyTunes

"Everyone I come across, in cages they bought
They think of me and my wandering, but I'm never what they thought
I've got my indignation,
but I'm pure in all my thoughts
I'm alive..."

Guaranteed
Eddie Vedder


picture: http://laist.com/attachments/la_josh2/emilewild.jpg

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Now playing: Eddie Vedder - No Ceiling
via FoxyTunes

Where are the others?

Deprime-me a maneira arrogante como as pessoas falam.
Deprime-me a falta de bom senso.
Deprime-me a falta de humildade.
Deprime-me a hipocrisia de pessoas que dizem compreender-me mas que no fundo, estão muito longe de tal facto.
Deprimem-me pessoas sem carácter.
Deprimem-me PSEUDO-intelectuais.
Deprime-me o não cumprimento da palavra dada.
Deprime-me a desonestidade.
Deprime-me esta solidão constante proveniente do meu vínculo fechado para com os meus valores.
Deprime-me esta pouca liberdade de estar presa às minhas convicções que teimam em ser defraudadas a cada dia que passa.

No entanto, sei que neste Mundo tão grande e complexo, não sou a única pessoa a pensar desta maneira. A pergunta que coloco nestes momentos de total inconformismo, é a seguinte:

Where are the others?

...

"I've been sitting here patiently
I've been talking too myself
Trying to shake that sinking feeling
Wishing I was somebody else
And I know it's not easy
When you don't get what you deserve"

Los Angeles Waltz
Razorlight

imagem: http://www.destination360.com/north-america/us/california/images/s/california-los-angeles.jpg

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Now playing: Interpol - The heinrich maneuver
via FoxyTunes

Loneliness

You look around and you see nobody.
You start talking and there´s no one to hear you.
You start dreaming... there´s no one to share the dreams with.
You feel lonely... no one gives a shit.
You are misunderstood... because no one even tries to get your point.
You sit alone because suddenly, you aren´t the funny one anymore.
You start crying... there´s no one to confort you.
You want to breath... but you can´t.
You want to scream... but deep inside... you know that won´t help.

Yes... you´re alone. But the more lonely you are, the more powerful you get. Because deep inside, you know that you´re growing up, into something better, than all the insignificant rest.

"When you're there, they're your friend
But then when you're not around
They say, "Oh, she's changed"
We know what they mean
Well they mean, they're just jealous
Because they never do the things
That they wish that they could do so well"

Golden Touch
Razorlight

Sem Título

" Everyone needs love
You know that it's true
Someday you'll find someone
That'll fall in love with you
But oh the time it takes
When you're all alone
Someday you'll find someone
That you can call your own
But till then ya better..."

My Michelle

Guns N´ Roses

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Now playing: The Strokes - On the Other Side
via FoxyTunes

Have you Ever...

"Have you ever buried your face in your hands
cause no one around you understands
Or has the slightest idea
what it is that makes you be

Have you ever felt like there was more
Like someone else was keeping score
And what could make you whole was simply out of reach, well, I know"

Have You Ever
The Offspring


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Now playing: Razorlight - Fall Fall Fall
via FoxyTunes

Yet another quote

"The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people. "

Theodore Roosevelt

imagem: http://www.iwillchangeyourlife.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/success.jpg

Trust

I have never trully trusted in anybody (maybe except my family, of course).
You might think I´m too cold or something like that. Maybe I am... but quite sadly, based on my life experience, that has always proven to be the best/smartest decision I could ever made.
That way, I can always see it coming. That way, I´m cautious and I don´t get caught (again) in surprise by acts of people you thought you could trust.

In the end, in this life, you´re all alone, all by yourself, and when you trully need someone to give you some strenght, guess what? The other people are way more interested in their own business. I don´t blame them... Individualism rules the world... but is it too bad to stop for a while, and care, maybe just a little, for the one who is next to you? I really wish that was possible. But life taught me it isn´t... so, guess what? I can´t count on anybody but myself.

Maybe one day, I´ll find a person that really gets me, and REALLY cares. Until then... I´ll keep pursuing my dreams and my beliefs, on my own. :)

imagem: http://www.smartgivers.org/sites/623b9026-c292-4f47-9b9d-8aac6d22782d/uploads/Trust.1_2.jpg

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Now playing: Led Zeppelin - 2 Stairway To Heaven.mp3
via FoxyTunes

Quote

"Os dias prósperos não vêm por acaso.
São granjeados, como as searas,
com muita fadiga e com muitos intervalos de desalento."

Camilo Castelo Branco

imagem: Seara com Ciprestes, Van Gogh

Amsterdam, Dreams & Company

In 5 days in this beautiful city that is Amsterdam, I felt as happy as I´ve never felt before. I higly recommend travelling if you´re feeling lost, incomplete, stagnate. It´s pure magic what it can do to you... how it can change you. Seeing new places, meeting new people, learning new cultures... couldn´t be any better!

I must add that during this trip, which was coming along almost perfectly, I saw two of my dreams coming true... which had never happened before in my life, in my last hours in Amsterdam.

I was getting kinda hopeless towards my dreams, thought they´d never come true. But finally, it happened. Guess if you keep struggling, you get there (and thrust me... sometimes it takes too long, but do never lose the hope).

What were those dreams, you might be wondering...

1) Watching Velvet Revolver in the front row, on the Slash´s side of the stage (which I did, in another country, in a venue I didn´t know, and just getting 1h before the show).
2) Meeting Slash and other members of the band (which coincidentally, they were right there, on the airport, on a departure gate in front of mine... can you believe it!? haha :D).

For you, this might be insignificant, maybe somehow foolish, but for me, making these two come true, in less then 8h, means everything in the world. It means I can do it. It means I can accomplish things. I know it represented a role in my life, it was one of the things I wanted to achieve and I did it. And I sure feel more complete now. And this sure came in the right timing, as I was feeling too lost and hopeless in this world (as you can see in my somewhat depressing posts below).

I was (and still am) dazed by happiness (that had been running away from me for so long), and I´m still kinda dizzy with all of this. Did it really happened? Was I lucky at least once (or shall I say twice) in my life? I sure was! And this time, there´s no room for depressing stuff, I must celebrate cos these sure were one of a life time events that ended up giving me the hope I needed to keep going. =)

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Now playing: Velvet Revolver - Fall To Pieces
via FoxyTunes